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Hurricane Katrina caused
terrible damage to lives and property in the Gulf States.
So many people were displaced from their homes, lost
all or most of their possessions and suffered the loss
of loved ones. In the aftermath of the storm and the
recovery, an overriding sense of loss will pervade most
of the people affected. This can and has already led
to great sadness. Sadness is grief and can lead to depression,
which can destroy the emotional lives of people.
Grief is an emotional
response to a loss. The loss could be anything that
a person held close and dear to themselves. It might
be a loss of a pet or dearly loved person through separation
or death. It could be a marriage on the rocks or the
closing of a business that had been the dream of a lifetime.
Reactions to that grief
vary with the individual and with the level of importance,
the person has attached to the person or thing lost.
For some the grief comes slowly and sneaks up quietly
like a thief in the night, taking not material things,
but stealing the very heart from the unaware. For others
grief hits like a sledgehammer, pounding the very will
to live from the spirit.
There will be an aching
or a wrenching of the soul, sometimes accompanied by
terror. The feelings of confusion, shock, and disbelief
never seem to go away. They linger like black, ominous
clouds, bringing depression, pain, and even contempt
for one's own life.
The grieving individual
may be able to identify feelings of despair, sadness,
anguish, and extreme moments of longing for the past.
Sometimes they may experience one or more of these feelings,
either one at a time or many simultaneously. The overwhelming
feeling of emotional pain seems to be without end, and
often there is an acute feeling of hopelessness. However,
for most individuals, time is a healer.
Each situation is unique
and different. There are personality differences and
value systems that differ with each individual. While
one person may truly resolve their grief in a relatively
short time, another may still be "hanging on"
years later. It is the latter individual with whom therapy
is required. What is the relationship involved in the
grief process? How strong were the ties? Is the grief
out of proportion with the relationship? Hypnotherapy
can quickly address these issues and, where appropriate,
bring about resolution.
Even one's familiarity
with grief can be an asset or a liability. The undertaker,
for example, will be better able to confront the loss
of a loved one than the teenager who has never had a
loss in his life. The loss of pets during childhood,
distant relatives, and others who are "not too
close" all aid in learning about grief. Many learn
from parents and relatives that they MUST grieve in
a dark and despairing way. How and what did you learn
about grief?
There is no socially
correct or definite pattern for grieving and the process
of healing, but we do know that an individual must heal
in order for life to go on. Generally, three major phases
can be clinically defined.
First comes shock. Shock
is there even when loss is anticipated. Second, comes
a period of disorganization and disorientation. This
is the period where the therapist can be of great service.
Third, either on their own or through therapy, the grievers
begin to reorganize and get on with the rest of their
lives.
At the onset, what the
griever needs most is understanding, information
and someone to talk with. Friends and relatives tend
to want to avoid discussion. While they are seemingly
sympathetic, they actually get tired of hearing about
"it." Yet, our most important function is
to listen -just listen and ask questions that will encourage
the patient to get it all out. At this time, it pays
to be a friend and confidant.
Occasionally, the grievers
will dissociate themselves from the incident to suppress
feelings of guilt, rage, or other socially "unacceptable"
emotions. They may have an incredible fear of their
own mortality. This could result in denial and suppression
of needed emotions. In order for an individual to live
healthfully, he must move through and out of the grieving
process, and hypnotherapists can help them do so.
During the period of
disorientation, it sometimes seems as though the individual's
brains are like scrambled eggs, and a cloud of doom
surrounds them. They often cannot see beyond the very
moment and may even have difficulty living in the moment.
Part of this may be because they are holding tenaciously
to the past for some reason and therefore cannot or
will not look into the future. Without a future, life
can be grim.
Two very important processes
must happen so that their lives can go on. They must
begin to disengage the past and start building their
future. One process that works exceedingly well is called
Time Line Therapy. It is a very efficient way to resolve
the past and build a future with a minimum of emotion
and a maximum of forward direction.
While in the time line
process, we have the client release and resolve any
old issues associated with the grief. Brighten the incident
and any associated incidents. Then we have the client
retrieve prior feelings of wellbeing and bring
those feelings into future memories. Finally, we have
the client associate into the future memories, then
dissociate so that the positive feelings generalize
in his life. It also helps the client to further create
the future by moving toward activities that he may have
always wanted to do or has enjoyed previously. In this
way, the client looks to a future rather than a past
to move away from. It can make all the difference in
the world.
The biggest problem
that I see from this kind of grief is that the terrible
feelings attract sad or grieving energies of earthbound
spirits or soul-mind fragments and the situation will
lower the grieving person’s psychic defense system
(Guardian Chi) so these sad energies can attach to them.
Then they have to contend with not only their problems,
but also with the problems of those who have attached
to them, bringing their own sadness to compound what
is already there. If this happens, the grieving person
will never stop grieving because he is expressing the
grief of the attachment. This can lead to all kinds
of serious problems, including severe unrelenting depression.
The competent hypnotherapist
will treat not only the grief itself, but be aware of
grief energy attachments that may take up residence
in the one aggrieved. Just treating the grief alone
can leave even more important negative energies behind
that can mess up the client for years afterwards. So,
if you grieve, make sure that you not only deal with
the grief, but also check for attachments to be sure
that you are clear and safe for the future
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